Dr Amina Aitsi-Selmi MD PhD

Once upon a time at medical school, I was in a James Bond pantomime. The audience would shout “shaken, not stirred!” when Bond said ‘Martini’. More recently, it occurred to me that, unlike Bond, deep resilience isn’t about being cold-blooded during a kill. It’s closer to what mystics describe: being touched but not shaken—present in the world but not lost in it. Research shows that even a few moments of mindfulness or body awareness can strengthen this capacity. It’s not magi

There’s nothing to prove. Like the Wounded Healer, the Wounded Achiever experienced a fracture in their being. They didn’t feel safe or seen when young. So they responded by becoming invincible to prove they’re good enough. Everything the Wounded Achiever does gives the subconscious message: I don’t need anything. But I can fix your problems. And I know the answer to most things. Am I good enough now?... They’re smart, independent, and often feel tense to the point that they

I didn’t understand the book at the time. Perhaps I was too young, as a teenager. But I’ve been thinking about The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. The characters are caught between the overwhelming heaviness of decisions and their consequences (which can lead to anxiety) versus the meaninglessness of their decisions (the unbearable lightness which can lead to depression). They’re caught in either things mattering too much or not enough. It’s a dilemma that can