We teach others how to treat us—sometimes without realising it.
Take Joe the horse in the photo below: he’s been trained to expect treats from pockets. The moment I approached, he started crossing boundaries—nudging and searching for more—which, in this context, was quite amusing.
But in human relationships, boundary-crossing isn’t so funny. In our competitive, individualistic culture, many interactions—whether with a partner, sibling, or colleague—are shaped by subtle comparison or competition, making trust harder to cultivate. No matter how ‘nice’ you are, they’ll never trust you 100%—unless you start showing up differently and shift the dynamic.
Instead of falling into the trap of being ‘nice’ or overly compliant to keep the peace, try showing up unmasked.
Here’s how:
Don’t hide your motivations. If you’re craving connection or reassurance, ask for it directly. Don’t overshare your problems and then cover it up with humour or pretend you have everything under control.
Be mindful of others’ emotions. If someone seems sad or angry while masking it with a smile or intellectualising, set clear boundaries. Let them know you’re present but also communicate your true capacity to support. Avoid shallow exchanges that leave you both feeling drained and unsatisfied.
Choose your own adventure. Let go of cultural expectations about how you should celebrate or connect. Celebrations don’t always need to center around food or be indoors—even in winter. Do what truly nourishes you and invite others along—but hold the energy that it’ll be beautiful whether they join or not.
Authenticity - being unmasked- is the antidote to resentment and a catalyst for deeper, satisfying connection.
How have you practised being unmasked in your relationships this year? I’d love to hear how Wise Wednesdays has supported you.
Have an unmasked week,
Amina
P.S. What’s cooking chez Dr. Amina for you:
Winter Revelation Sessions: £150 for a 60-minute session + 1 week of Telegram support to turn insights into action. Perfect for exploring what’s calling you and taking the next step. Only a few sessions left—book yours now.
Next Leaders Circle – Limitless Confidence Deep Dive. Join us on Wednesday, January 15th at 6pm UK/1pm ET for this transformative session. Full details coming soon.
The Sanctuary Mastermind (4-Month Program):
Relax, realign, and uplevel your career or step into independent coaching and consulting. Early access applications are open for this small-group transformational experience—apply here. (3 spots already taken by leaders in healthcare and government policy.)
1:1 Coaching: Receive personalised support to catalyse your career or leadership transformation. Let’s explore what working together could look like—reach out.
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