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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

Giving up too soon [Wise Wednesdays]

We give up just before we reach the goal. Whether it’s a job, relationship, dream business or simply having more space and work-life balance, the closer we get, the more likely we can revert back to the old… Why? Because the fear of failure and emotional intensity can be the highest when we’ve gone the furthest along the path. The dream is within reach – but not yet materialised – and we don’t realise how close we are. “The night is darkest just before the dawn” – Thomas Fuller.

You see, it’s easy to start off with enthusiasm. But as you take action, you begin to see the risks involved and the uncertainty of the outcome. The pressure can become intolerable. Your comfort zone suddenly looks much more inviting… Sometimes, the goal is right in front of you but you don’t trust it – it’s “too good to be true”. So you convince yourself that you don’t really want it or that it’s not possible for you. You can see it in animals who want human contact but are afraid of getting hurt because of past negative experiences. They become paralysed or flee even though they’re so close to a kind human who will feed and care for them. Your coach will help you identify this tension, understand your own way of giving up on your dreams and help you work through the fears and negative beliefs that have you settle for less than what’s truly possible for you. And they’ll also help you to enjoy your life no matter what. Holding the tension of creating the future while living happily in the present is a powerful skill. Don’t give up too soon. Freedom is closer than you think. Have a great week, Amina p.s. Get a dose of inspiration from this Rethink podcast episode with Eleanor Twedell interviews me on how I changed career and how to avoid the success trap (i.e. staying in a role that isn’t right for you because it pays the bills or keeps you busy). Eleanor switched career and set up her own coaching agency, after 23 years of corporate life, working for brands such as Costa Coffee, RAC, Virgin Atlantic and Vodafone, and having clients like Channel 4. She published a book with Penguin Random House called Why Losing Your Job Could Be the Best Think that Every Happened To you. We sat next to each other at the Business Book Awards recently and thought we should dig into the meat and bones of career reinvention. Listen to the podcast here:

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