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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

5 reasons to say ‘no’ more often [Wise Wednesdays]

There’s no such thing as time management. It’s choice management.


Along my career journey, “no” has been critical to staying on track. However alluring the opportunity, if it’s not in alignment, the opportunity becomes a liability.


“No” becomes the #1 superpower for many of my clients. It helps them recalibrate. They start feeling better, being clearer and taking bolder risks in the direction of their vision and dreams. For example, Theresa said “no” to a big project that enabled her to go from a 5-day to a 3-day week, take a dream trip to Asia and then put her work out there which led her to being headhunted as a director for her dream job.


Here are 5 reasons to say ‘no’ more often:


1) You have limited resources (time, energy, money, emotional and cognitive bandwidth)


Invest them wisely.


2) You are not here to save the world


If you’re a mission-driven human, you may have tendencies to overgive and overcommit. Be mindful of the rescuer and turn the rescue mission on you and your schedule! (You might like this video on 10 signs of the rescuer).


3) You do not have to prove anything


Your self-worth does not derive from your achievements. Your achievements reflect your self-worth. Saying ‘no’ is an expression of your self-worth and signals that your time and energy are valuable.


4) We live in a world drowning in information and starving for wisdom


‘No’ helps you set a Personal Perimeter of Sanity. This gives you much faster and reliable access to your intuition and therefore your ability to discern and decide what’s right for you and others.


5) Your intuition is the quiet impulse at the centre of your Personal Perimeter of Sanity


Everything you’re faced with in life will evoke an intuitive, optimal response. But you can’t hear it unless you’ve created space. This requires you to say ‘no’ to a lot of things for a while because of the type of culture we live in (see #4).


Your Personal Perimeter of Sanity is how you can stay present and connected to your intuition.

Remember, you don’t have to explain or justify your No. People aren’t really that interested! NO is a complete sentence. Have a great week, Amina p.s. We had an incredible Leaders Circle on joy with a global group of doctors, directors, entrepreneurs and free spirits last week, followed by a deep dive into ‘money and meaning’ at the RSA, yesterday. Join us for the next RSA online event: speedcoaching for insight. This is one of our more fun and hands on events where you get to practise your coaching skills (you don’t have to be a coach) and be coached by great people yourself. Free registration here >>




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