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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

The joy and messiness of life – 5 questions [Wise Wednesdays]

This week, I’m sharing from my mid-year reflections with prompts you can play with. Life is seasonal and transitions involve messy middles that yield rich insights (with a little patience and guidance). Join me in the joy and messiness of the seasonal cycles of life.

[I’m celebrating] crossing a significant milestone in my coaching revenue. When I started out, I just wanted to replace my physician income and gratefully, the coaching work has more than done that these past few years. The point is that if anyone tells you that you can’t make a decent living doing something you love and make a difference in the world without exhausting yourself (even if it’s different from your current career), you can safely delete their comments and get on with your life. [Reflection]: What are you obsessed with? What is calling you forth in this season of life?

[I’m mourning] that there is still so much trauma in the world around freedom, money, health needs in both work and relationships. It can be overwhelming sometimes. But leadership requires vision and vision entails a gap between the Now and the Possible. Put another way, if you hold a vision, you are naturally called to leadership - for yourself, your loved ones, the world. [Reflection]: What can you let go of and what must you hold onto even if awareness of the gap between the present and the possible is challenging?

[I’m consolidating] the roles I play in this season of my work. I was invited to apply for a leadership in education award recently. I thought it was a misdirected message or hoax. But it helped me discern two hats I wear – the coach and the ‘educator’. I didn’t see myself that way. But I’ve realised that when I only focus on the coaching and not on the bigger message, I feel limited. Now, I feel excited to refine both roles as distinct but interrelated. [Reflection]: What are the multiple roles you play at work and which one or two will you consolidate because they truly light you up?

[I’m collapsing] any narratives I hold around what is possible including for women, for people who don’t belong anywhere (and belong everywhere), for living and working with high integrity and for experiencing ease and aliveness amid challenge and uncertainty. We create the world that we repeatedly speak into existence. [Reflection]: What’s a subtle story you quietly (or loudly) tell yourself that it’s time to collapse into nothingness?

[I’m exploring] whether we need to bring back the sacred into the corporate. We talk about organisations focused on learning, inclusion, sustainability, people, the triple bottom line, etc. I’ve often wondered what draws us to these different frameworks. What’s the common denominator? I’m starting to believe that it’s what we call “the sacred” - the sense of something awesome, beautiful, free, just. Through the lens of ‘the sacred’, overwhelming complexity becomes soulfulness, and terrifying uncertainty becomes the awe of mystery. I know it works at the individual level but what about our secular organisations whether it’s a hospital or an investment bank? [Reflection]: What are you curious about that’s a little outside the box and deserves some contemplation time this season?

Legend in the Making: Meet my friend Kate. We bonded over the joys and messiness of becoming “double-doctors” in population health and a passion for truth, justice and equitable (health) systems. We went in different directions following our training and she is a senior advisor at the World Bank with a fascinating international portfolio. We reconnected during the pandemic and our meetings have become a check in for our life direction. What I admire about Kate is that she’s taken time away from a prestigious role to explore what’s right for her. She hasn’t been afraid to step off the career treadmill, slow down and experiment with different paths. She’s made courageous decisions about when to let go of professional status and safety, when to embrace it and use it to make a difference and regularly reviews if her work situation is still aligned with her values.

I believe that staying true to yourself requires a strong Relational Ecosystem, with a healthy balance of both support and challenge, and it’s crucial to have people who won’t let you forget your greatness while loving you in your messiness when you’re trying something outside the box. Who are those people in your life? Send one of them a love message right now.

I’m grateful to everyone who’s been with me on my many change cycles, including the Wise Wednesdays community. Thank you for being part of it.

Have a great week,

Amina | Presence · Power ·Possibility

p.s. You can read the Success Trap chapter on letting go of goals and embracing messy

change cycles here >>

PLUS When you're ready to transform what makes you different into a league of your own here are ways I can help:

1) Self-Coach: Amplify your influence with simple exercises from the Leaders Circle [Download PDF]

2) Read: Get the free chapter from The Success Trap book if you haven’t already.

3) Group learning: TBA

4) 1:1 and small group coaching: Let's explore what it might look like to work together and experience powerful coaching that will cut through the noise and leave you with 1-3 clear steps towards the career and life you truly want. Book an Exploratory Coaching Conversation >>

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