Are you a Model Minority? [Wise Wednesdays | Anyday]

Many years ago, a mentor told me that I’d always have opportunities. He explained that if a boss wanted something done, they’d want an ‘exotic, hard working woman’ because we were seen to have the right work ethic…

I had mixed feelings but I knew he meant it positively.

Recently, I came across a concept related to this: the Model Minority Myth. It was coined to described the stereotype of the hard-working American Asian. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being perceived as reliable and capable but the problem with stereotypes is that they box people into expectations.

And if you’ve been reading Wise Wednesdays, you’ll know that living up to expectations is not something we subscribe to. I used to be a champion of meeting expectations, but discovered new levels of aliveness every time I let go. [You can get a sense of your own relationship to expectations with the Four Tendencies test.]

You can’t be liberated if you’re busy making other people’s beliefs about you true.

Now what?

Legend in the Making: In a coaching session last week, we went deep into this with an extraordinary Entrepreneur client who is building his fifth company having established himself as one of the most reputable and reliable names in the industry. The bottleneck in his way? People still expect him to be the ‘nice guy’ and over-give.

But contracts and collaborations cannot be sustained if founded on the shifting sands of resentment or unfairness. In an often cut-throat world of big business, his kindness gave him a rare advantage but it also created his own Model Minority Myth. It was time to release the weight of unfair expectations.

Exploring his deeper beliefs, he found that it was time to let go of an old, simple, but destructive one: agreement is safety. (If you’re conflict avoidant, you’ll know the grip of this belief.) The bigger truth he saw: disagreement isn’t dangerous. Disagreement doesn’t mean rupture. It’s the ground for discernment. It tells you where the boundaries are and where clarification might be needed. It can also redirect towards new possibilities - or not.

In essence, he recognised the kindness in timely truth-telling and benevolent boundaries. He started transforming guilt-driven kindness that kept him stressed and others comfortable into fierce love that serves everyone and a larger vision. Congratulations!

No one has to live up to a Model Minority Myth - even if it gives an ‘advantage’. The only thing to live up to is the truth of this season, this phase of life, this moment.

Liberation in this season of leadership and contribution can look like 3 powerful distinctions:

- Living from conscious decisions (not the pressure of expectations)

- Seeing disagreements as discernment of boundaries (not danger)

- Recognising the kindness in timely truth-telling (not over-giving)

Transform kindness into fierce love.

Have a great week,

Amina

P.S. A couple of seasonal delights:

1. Winter Revelations Sessions (limited spots): Create space for insight into a career or leadership situation and welcome 2026 with renewed inner power. This is for you if you’ve never worked with me 1:1. Book your 1:1 here — for a 60-minute session, with preparatory questions and meditations included.

2. Leaders Circle – Double Agent No More! Mark your seasonal calendar -  we’re back with liberating insights, grounding meditation, and inspired action. November 26th, 6pm UK / 1pm ET. More information soon.