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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

Should you speak up in meetings? 4 marks of the modern warrior-healer

Interesting things happen when you slow down.

Your insight develops; your choices and opportunities multiply where you thought you were stuck; and your confusion subsides where it was florid, making way for clarity and simplicity.

Where urgency gnawed at you, a sense of freedom emerges.

It can be unsettling sometimes, as you realise your own power and authority over your life. You might wonder who ran your show in the past – who’s rules were you following?

When layers of stress fall away, you can feel raw and disoriented for a while…

“We’re all a little broken. But last time I checked, broken crayons still coloured the same.” London Underground.



Last week, a client who took a step back from her high pressure, medical career, after a disappointment that made her question medicine, started to find her wings again.

Dr S has been on a deep journey of self-discovery and reconnected with forgotten intuitions and energies that used to give her joy and guide her in life.

The result is she’s stepping back into the field with new power. Her capacity for insight in challenging situations has grown.

Recently, she was in a room surrounded by the great and the good in her speciality and found herself in the minority position and background.

But something stirred in her as the meeting proceeded. While one voice tried to silence her reminding her how small she was, she stayed present to her experience and the intense emotions she was feeling.

As she relaxed into the fullness of the experience, perfectly timed words floated out of her mouth and landed with a bigger impact than she expected.

She took a stand without effort or forcefulness and spoke truth to power, receiving more support than she expected.

You may not always receive support when you speak truth but push back doesn’t invalidate a stand. On the contrary…

Polarisation indicates you’re saying something of impact – it’s a sign of creative tension in the social fabric.

Not everyone can withstand the pressure or tolerate being a source of this creative tension.

But Dr S is a powerful warrior-healer.


[Read on or watch the video]

Archetypes, like the warrior and healer, are a fun and enriching way of talking about our deeper instincts, motivations and tendencies. Beyond personality types and personal development “tips and strategies”, they take us deeper into our psyche and give form and texture to (sometimes uncomfortable) aspects of ourselves.

The warrior-healer is a combination of someone who is an indomitable doer – action-biased and willing to do whatever it takes especially in times of conflict -, and someone who is a wise carer wanting to contribute something healing and profound to their society or group, usually in times of peace.

The warrior-healer combination is powerful because it allows you to take decisive action when required and sit back and sense what the situation is looking for patterns and creative solutions when needed.

While we live in times of physical peace, many workplaces and communities are going through psychological conflict, with unhealthy work cultures clashing with the human drive for freedom and happiness.

So should you speak up in meetings, conversations and decision-making spaces?

Ask your inner warrior-healer. She/he will help you because they can help you:

1. Sense your environment and the dynamics playing out: You have wide peripheral attention. You can take in information without judgement and allow your felt-sense of the situation guide you.

2. Focus on a single decision-making moment:

You can bring all your attention to a single point of focus. You can spot the opening for action cutting out doubts, distractions and mental noise.

3. Act decisively within the flow:

Once, you’ve sensed the moment, you allow your actions to follow through. This looks like an absence of hesitation but it’s more accurate to say that mental obstacles are absent. So action unfolds naturally and in alignment with the requirements of the situation - a spontaneously skilful response.

4. Own up to the consequences of your action/inaction:

Things don’t always work out in expected ways. Being with whatever comes up in a situation and responding creatively restarts the cycle from step 1.

As you practise this way of being, you’re allowing yourself to inhabit your true power and follow your unique path. There’ll be ups and downs but you’ll recognise the aliveness of being fully present to your life.

The important thing is that warrior-healers have deep integrity when they are awake to who they really are.

You don’t need to win. You don’t need to rescue. You just know when to act and when not to act - with great courage and deep wisdom.

Have a great week,


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Dr Amina Aitsi-Selmi works with high achieving “warrior-healers” across professions who want to balance their need for independence and challenge with their desire to connect and be. She helps them discover and live what’s true for them within and beyond conventional careers. Book an exploratory conversation:

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