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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

My clients hate me

Have you ever thought of how change happens in your life? Have you noticed how it can be painful sometimes, especially if the goal is worthwhile? We all have a zone of genius. I’m good at seeing people’s blindspots and what’s holding them back from what they want. It requires giving hard talk and tough love sometimes; and of course, it's not for everyone. If you want (deliberate) change in your life, you have to be ready. You wouldn't go on an expedition to the South Pole or climb Everest, if you're in a phase of life where you need a beach holiday, right? People normally come to me when they sense it's time for change and they’re ready for the climb. But even if they think they know what to expect… …there will come a point at which they will hate me! And that’s OK. Why? Because at the point when they want to give up, they think it's all too much and perhaps they should just go back to their old life, I will call them out. I’ll remind them of what they’re capable of and how powerful they really are. Like any good coach. You see personal change - the kind that creates an extraordinary life and materialises your dreams - is ultimately an emotional journey (see video for more on the emotional cycle of change).

It doesn’t matter if it’s getting out of an unsatisfying career and creating your own business, or having more fulfilling relationships, the cycle is the same. You're most vulnerable to giving up on your dreams at the point where you're about to leave your old life behind but haven't quite made the new life happen. It's the “space between stories” (Eisenstein) or the “valley of despair” (Kelley & Connor). You feel like you have no idea what you're doing. It suddenly hits you how much you don’t know. So you start to doubt yourself and whether pursuing your dream was such a good idea after all. I mean, why would anyone leave a high-flying medical career behind?... This is where you need to be extra vigilant and intensify your self-awareness. This is where a skilled coach who gives you the right blend of compassionate support and tough love will be of most value to you. I may not be the most pleasant coach, but…I’ve reinvented my career a few times and know what it feels like. Over the years, I’ve done the deep work on myself and honed my work ethic to perform under extreme pressure. Listen, I’ve had angry militia soldiers shout at me and wave an AK47 in my face out of panic (some hairy moments in South Sudan) and I still kept things under control and did what I thought was right to get the patient back on their feet. So I'm not about to cave in and tell you what you want to hear, so you can get off the hook and give up on your dreams, just because you've had a bad week at the office or someone said something that upset you. No, Ma’am. So here's how it is: - It's ok to feel confused when pursuing your dream and creating a new life - It's ok to think you're going mad as you outgrow an old identity - It’s normal to feel lost in the dark and panic when familiar reference points disappear And yes, you may feel a little angry if your coach nudges you out of your comfort zone. They are beckoning you towards your dream… So if we work together, you will probably hate me at some point. But you’ll know I'm just doing my job. See what people are saying here (N.b. I publish the testimonials from all the clients who have completed coaching with me in the past year!) Have a great week, Amina Reinventing careers, transforming lives. Liked it? Share it! ANNOUNCEMENT Last week, I opened two coaching spots for my six month Career and Life Transformation process “Create a Career and Life You Love”. There is one spot left for an inspired soul. If you’re not interested stop reading, now! Read on if you want more information. Thank you! I work with a limited number of people; and blend deep coaching with strategic planning. Results from past clients include:

· their dream job in medicine

· better relationships and team dynamics

· consulting contracts with intergovernmental organisations

· making a higher income than ever before through promotions or consulting

· long term funding for passion projects

· being more at ease and relaxed with their path. See here for a range of testimonials. The process may be suitable if: · you’re passionate and hard working but not sure how to move forward; · you’re going around in circles and your confidence is dropping; · you want to feel inspired and clear again, sharpening your strategy and strengthening your intuitive wisdom; · you want to use your talent to have a positive impact in world and use your medical or professional skills differently; · you have a niggling voice/inner-critic that holds you back and you’re fed up with it. If you think that’s you, let’s find out! Email or book a free initial consultation here: The full process for starting coaching with me: 1) Email with “I’m interested!” in the subject line 2) I’ll send you a questionnaire to fill in (this will be a useful exercise for you to get more clarity on your career and life) 3) If I think I can help you, I’ll invite you to a Career Turnaround Session (here we’ll go deeper into your career aspirations, what’s in the way and leave you with a plan and feeling inspired again!) 4) At the end, I’ll share my reflections and we’ll talk about whether there is scope to work together further.

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