You’re good at relationships. | Shared Reality Leadership

Do you notice the harms of social media and smart phones but find them hard to avoid?

This week, the Wellcome Trust Digital Determinants of Health hub was launched and will start developing the first national cohort to answer some of the questions about the harms of social media, led by Dr Amrit Kaur Purba. This is a little personal for me because Amrit and I worked on choosing and crafting this career path through coaching not too long ago.

There is very good evidence that social media algorithms are designed for attention capture and engagement - not education, information, or social connection as their name would suggest…The damage to relational skills is increasingly clear. It's easier to scroll or post than to have the hard conversation and the algorithm wants to keep you there. It's relational capture (and agency capture) by tech.

But we still have choice.

Relational skills emerge naturally when we're not in reactive fear, outrage, or overexcitement (the very emotions that social media engagement benefits from). If conflict or rupture occurs, just like healing a wound, we know how to repair - if we catch the moment of reactivity before the habitual pattern activates and causes further damage.

Shared Reality Leadership focuses on sensing coherence within yourself and the group, using that as a baseline or homing signal to be clear on what you want; create openings with others; and set boundaries where needed for you and the group.

These are foundational relational skills and they're grounded in knowing your experience. Without that, conditioned behaviours of the rescuer, persecutor and victim take hold.

There is no hard goal. It's about experiencing the clear aliveness that makes everything worth it: a sense of the being awed in the overwhelm, moved not just motivated, enchanted - and clear-eyed - even in a difficult conversation.

Communicating becomes less like a minefield and more like a symphony.

Join me and a small group on June 24th.

Register here.

Amina

P.S. This is a 75min open session online - June 24th 6pm UK / 1pm EST. It's exploratory. New people welcome.