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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

'I need to heal' [Wise Wednesdays]

I’ve had a couple of conversations recently with people who are so burned out that they can’t make decisions anymore. They don’t know what they want, who they are or what they’re here to do.

I know this place.

It requires gentleness, patience and a lot of love. It’s the source of deep wisdom and gifts if treated well.

The culture tells us that healing is a thing we do as a separate activity to ordinary work and life. Maybe you take some time out and go to a doctor or healer (or retreat or sabbatical) to heal your wounds/burnout, so you can get back to being productive…

But here’s the thing:

Healing is something that needs to be happening all the time.

Tending to your psychological wounds is a daily practice like brushing your teeth or ironing your shirt.


Because we’re always sustaining psychological wounds. It's part of the natural wear and tear of life.

If you’re out there in the world, you’ll be getting a few grazes and bruises on the daily. You’ll get slapped in the face or badly beaten every now and again. And that’s not even touching the early life wounds that need special attention if you want to live a life of peaceful contribution.

As humans open to healing and growth we realise that among other things:

· there are parts of ourselves that we have suppressed and act out in strange ways…

· we ignore the aspects of our humanity that we deem unacceptable like feelings of anger, sadness or jealousy or even joy

· we avoid confrontation or asking for what we want and then sit in frustration and blame others

· we’ve made decisions that we regret because we didn’t know better at the time

· tension builds up when we ignore the compromises we make out of fear

Facing this material and making peace with it is ‘healing’ or ‘shadow work’.

It is HARD. Don’t go there alone…But it’s OH so worth it because once you’ve faced your deepest, darkest fears and regrets, you become…, well,…fearless and free!

Healing is a gentle but firm process of naming without shaming your inner-demons so that you can tame them and get them on board with the bigger vision that lives inside you.

Don’t wait to crash or burn out and then spend time ‘healing’.

Start today by spending 15-20 minutes with the difficult thoughts and emotions that come up each day and watch the quality of your life change.

Have a great week,


p.s Join us for an RSA conversation on power at work particularly if you’re a coach or interested in coaching. Sign up here.

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