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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

9 things to Stop, Start, or Maintain [Wise Wednesdays #352]

During the pandemic, I used to have a calendar slot at the weekend called: Declutter.As I let go of certain projects, I had bandwidth to prioritise and focus better and eventually had room for new things. For example, I stopped a weekly circling session and started an african drumming class, but maintained and deepened the circling practice by joining a 6-month programme. This had positive ripple effect personally and professionally.

As life changes, our relationship ends with certain things (projects, roles, identities, habits, places, people), others deepen, and new ones begin. With space, we can focus more effectively on what’s most important in this season of life.

There's no such thing as time management, it's choice management.

A tool that clients have found very helpful to make conscious choices is: "Stop, Start, Maintain”. Here are some ideas of how you can apply it, especially if you’re a high achiever who tends to be overly responsible:

[Read on or watch the video].


  1. Stop chasing unfulfilling goals: Fulfillment comes from within. You can relax and trust that you don't need to pursue endless goals. You certainly don’t need to pursue goals at the expense of your integrity.

  2. Stop making people dependent on You: Ease feelings of isolation or loneliness by fostering genuine connection rather than creating dependency. It only leads to resentment. (Equally Beware of pushing away people who truly care about you because it threatens your independence). 

  3. Stop being busy for the sake of being busy: Being busy has become a badge of honour at the expense of true purpose. Prioritise what is truly meaningful and let go of the rest. 


  1. Start connecting to your needs and feelings: Practice mindfulness and meditation to better understand what you truly need.

  2. Start expressing your feelings and needs: Share your emotions and needs openly, even if it feels vulnerable. Do this only with people you trust to start with.

  3. Start practising these habits in challenging situations: Apply these practices in power dynamics, where you might feel guilt or anger, to maintain integrity and self-awareness.


  1. Maintain deep donnections: Engage in prolonged, meaningful conversations rather than just interactions on social media.

  2. Maintain curiosity: Stay open to views that differ from yours to avoid polarisation. Ask questions instead of forcing opinions and see what happens.

  3. Maintain reflective practices: Spend time reflecting on your actions, feelings, and thoughts, not just consuming media or entertainment.

Never before in the history of humanity has it been so easy to change how we feel in any moment. We used to rely on nature, people, or our own mental power to meet our needs and navigate life. Now we can shift our neurochemistry with calories and dopamine available at the click of a button. This has robbed us of our power or ‘resilience’.  We’ve created entire lifestyles around masking our feelings through workaholism and other addictions. 

But the planet is calling us to wake up and remember to be where we are with compassion rather than reach out for the next distracting consumable. We can evolve our brains or sink deeper into destruction. Evolution starts with making a different choice - starting with ourselves.

Are you taking time to intentionally stop, start, and maintain what’s important in your life? 

Have a great week,


[Photo: Captivated by the corporate intelligence of honey bees 🐝🍯]

Last weekend, I visited a local apiary, where I couldn't help but marvel at the intricate social dynamics and highly organised architecture of these remarkable creatures—all while holding on tight to my beekeeper's hat! There’s a very close relationship between the queen bee, worker bees, and drones (the male bees, who don’t gather food or build the hive). It’s not a hierarchy but a very tightly organised system, with each member playing a crucial role that ensures the survival and efficiency of the colony. If bees can do this, imagine what humans could achieve if we really fulfilled our potential as a species.

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