In any situation, you only have 4 options:
Do nothing
Change the situation
Change your attitude about the situation
Leave the situation.
And when you’re in a job you don’t like or have fallen out of love with, it can feel disheartening to get up every day and get stuff done.
In a conversation last week, with a courageous doctor dedicated to social justice, it became clear that she was not in the right role for her. All the leadership training in the world would not compensate for the feeling of misalignment.
So what do you do if you can’t leave immediately?
Here are 4 insights based on my experience and from working with high achievers in this situation:
1) Reframe:
A role you don’t like is a Career Development Grant. It’s a Vision Development and Implementation Sponsorship. A job you don’t like is a crucible to truly refine what it is that you want to do, test out ideas and create new opportunities whilst having a guaranteed income. It’s a platform to explore and amplify. Lucky you!
In fact, you are never out of a job if you see yourself as your own boss. You are the CEO of YOU Ltd. Your employer is a partner and collaborator. You are never between jobs. You are on a business development secondment, leadership growth programme or sabbatical.
Reflection: If you show up as the CEO of your own company (whether you have an official one or not), what does your company do in the world? What does it contribute to society? How does your current role or organisation support you in advancing your true vision?
2) Reconnect:
When you’re frustrated for a prolonged period of time, you can lose sight of your vision (your vision is the thing that channels your life force or the thing that used to get you out of bed with a spring in your step).
Take 15 minutes a day to destress and allow space for that vision to resurface. You don’t need to do anything, except make space in your head for the seed to sprout (have I ever mentioned meditation?) Sure, read, listen to podcasts, speak with people, but those are just fertilisers for the seed to sprout when you make space in the fresh ground of your mind.
Reflection: What must you do in this lifetime? What is it that you can’t reach your deathbed without having done? Where will you sit and breathe and make space for your inner-voice to remind you of your vision?
3) Rechannel:
When there’s a mismatch between your deeper vision and where you’re putting your energy, you feel misaligned and burnout looms. As mentioned in the Success Trap book: burnout is a repeated compromise of your values (and vision).
This is where the true power of NO comes in. NO is your energy guardian. No is the riverbank that channels the water of your life force. Without the riverbank, the water seeps into the ground and never reaches its destination. Without NO, your vision dies.
Reflection: What must you say no to going forward? What hard conversations are you avoiding? What is the cost of saying ‘yes’ when you don’t mean it?
I’ve seen clients go from despondent, bored and hopeless to happily flying while in a role they were complete with (and sometimes literally flying – as one wonderful client reconnected with his love of flying and started carving out new opportunities to bring his health expertise to crises in remote areas. He reconnected with his vision, reclaimed control over his energy and his job started working for him, not the other way round. He felt free again.
This is not just a nice to have.
The truth about working in a neoliberal capitalist patriarchal system is that we end up being extracted from by default, if we’re not careful. That’s the basic logic of the system. Incentives (e.g. money, status, belonging) and punishments (loss of money, status and belonging) are in place to get work out of you – even if this clashes with your bigger vision and values. If what seems like a great job doesn’t feel right, it’s often because you’re no longer available for work that requires so much sacrifice from you. You’re no longer willing to expose yourself to the toxicity of an extractive system.
Becoming aware of this gives you power. It dispels confusion and resolves inner-conflict. Work with a coach to support you through the process of extracting yourself from an environment that is extracting too much from you! Make your coach a part of your extraction commando squadron!
By transforming your relationship to your current role and clarifying how it fits into your bigger vision so that it serves your vision rather than sacrificing it, you become a force in the (r)evolution of work towards something more humane - one that honours human needs including creativity, autonomy, joy and of course, fair remuneration.
Have a great week,
Amina
p.s. Have you found The Success Trap book helpful? Would you be willing to write a short review on Amazon to help reach more people? Thank you in advance.
Announcements: I’m excited to be speaking at UCL on careers beyond academia and Women for Environment Africa. Join me at the RSA online for a transformational conversation on Power and Coaching. Register here >>
