The true wisdom of guilt and procrastination [Wise Wednesdays]
Reflecting on coaching conversations this past month brought me to a conclusion: we believe in guilt too much. Guilt says: You should be doing more/better/faster. What you’re doing is not enough! And while sometimes that’s true… …most of the time it’s not. Distinguishing which one is wisdom. But there’s a catch 22… To discern the true message behind guilt, you need to take time to slow down and reflect on it. But then you feel guilty for taking time and don't go deep enough! And then you get stuck in a cycle that you might call “procrastination” or “laziness” or look for hacks to “beat procrastination” (which can be sensible). This is particularly the case around the holidays when there’s a collective permission to pause. You might wonder if it’s OK to pause, how long to pause for and when to get going again… Your intuition (and body) might want more rest but guilt says: No! So what can you do? In 2019, I remember worrying that taking time to write my book would have a negative impact on my coaching work and that my revenue would drop. I felt guilty at the idea of sitting quietly and writing instead of working with more clients or potential clients. As it turned out, the six months I spent on the book were the six months of my highest revenue until then – it practically doubled. I was also in a group coaching programme at the time which helped me trust my intuition. This helped me further transform my work ethic/mindset and let go of guilt (and old imposter-like thoughts) because it showed me evidence of the lies that guilt was telling me. It showed me the true face of guilt and its deceitful nature. So I can tell you from experience (as well as seeing many clients do this) that you can ignore guilt and do better than you ever imagined. Let me repeat: you can ignore guilt and do better than you ever imagined. Your intuition (which is deactivated by guilt) will tell you the right timing, intensity and priorities for your work if you take the space and time to hear it. Guilt won’t. Guilt will agitate you and give you the impression of short-term productivity while leading you to dead ends or unsustainable patterns of work. So in summary: The wisdom of guilt is not in doing more but in remembering to trust your intuition. It’s not in believing that you’re not doing enough but that you’re bigger than the guilt-tripping story. If you’re walking the path of freedom, leadership or (conscious) entrepreneurship this is an important mindset transformation. Here are some questions to help you turn guilt into wisdom:
How has guilt helped you in the past?
How does guilt not serve you?
Who would you be without guilt and what else would motivate you instead? (Trust that.)
Have a great week,
p.s. The doors to Presence Power Possibility 2022 will be opening soon. If you’re ready to radically transform your mindset and create the career and life you truly want, get in touch to explore if the programme is right for you. This is a small group coaching experience and mastermind that will