We’ve landed in 2019!
In last week’s webinar, an important focus was what to let go of from 2018.
Our work culture encourages us to just pile on more tasks and say “yes” to work when in reality (with scientific backing) we must prioritise to maintain optimal levels of functioning. In other words: to succeed, you must be able to say “no”.
And that includes saying “no” to your own internal noise and attachment to the past.
Here are the webinar replay and slides of the 2019 preparation process.
What you’re willing to let go of is half of the success equation. The other is what you’re willing to step into.
The secret sauce of the equation is what really gets things cooking.
[See the video below or read on]
THE STATE OF MIND IN WHICH YOUR RESOLUTIONS ARE FORMED (AND HELD) PREDICTS THEIR SUCCESS
What I’ve learned from going through the preparation process several times myself is that the success of a resolution depends to a large extent on the state of mind (and body) in which it was made and continues to be held as you move forward.
Here are three possibilities:
Inspired state of mind: resolutions = predictions (a vision of what will come to pass)
i.e. you perceive the highest possibilities available to you and where your energy will be best utilised. It feels like a powerful vision that attracts your energy rather a destination to get to. By cultivating an inspired state of mind you find yourself taking the right action and facing any obstacles (usually internally imposed) with courage.
Victimised state of mind: resolutions = feeble hope
i.e. you perceive a flicker in the distance but it feels a bit too much. It’s too far out and tiring just to think about. Your energy is divested from the project before you even start. It then flows to the lowest levels of (habitual) action into distractions and the status quo. Blaming externalities and self-loathing eat up time and energy.
Overly enthusiastic state of mind: resolutions = fantasy
i.e. you perceive the endless possibilities available to you and become quite excited and perhaps even all-conquering. You make a great list and feel great. Until the enthusiasm runs out.
Everyone is different and the resolutions you come up with in an inspired state of mind - the state in which you perceive what’s best and are more likely to follow through - will be different to someone else.
The values may be similar e.g. kindness, freedom, love, justice, etc. but what this looks like on a more granular level differs from person to person, and that’s where creativity, imagination and experimentation allow you to figure out your own answers, your own path.
WHAT YOU FOCUS ON WILL DETERMINE YOUR STATE OF MIND (AND LIKELIHOOD OF SUCCESS)
Your state of mind will depend on what you give attention to. So it’s important to leave behind what is out of date and cultivate what’s helpful.
This will maximise your chances of being in the right state of mind - consistently.
Things to take forward into 2019
The mind is so quick to dismiss the positive (taking it for granted) and magnify the slightest negative – it’s our brain’s loss aversion/pain avoidance mechanism. If you’re an empath, you might be hypervigilant, always trying to read situations for danger and people for their motivations. The world can feel unsafe. So if you’ve had experiences of joy in 2018 – however small – commit them to physiological memory.
Practise bringing the memory to mind and feeling the effect on your body and emotions – a form of this is gratitude practice. You can also think of things you’re proud of.
"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." - Rabindranath Tagore
Undoubtedly you’ve acquired new lessons, wisdoms and understanding about yourself, relationships and the world. These are multiplied in certain environments e.g. retreats/personal development programs, nature, inspiring conversations, etc. These insights are often enjoyed for a moment and forgotten. Take your top 1 to 3 insights from 2018, write them down, and apply them until you see the fruit. Understand their full ramifications and live them consistently.
Things to leave behind from 2018
Experiences that are complete:
You know what this feels like. You know when a relationship is complete, you don’t have to wait for some authority to tell you. You just know. Look at everything else in your life that you may be dragging along out of guilt or misplaced loyalty (relationships, habits, jobs, expectations) and leave them firmly in the past. Do not engage again. Use the new space for what you actually want.
A lot of thinking is redundant, leading to a lot of redundant activity. Hence, Pareto’s 80/20 rule: 80% of what you want comes from 20% of what you do. Learn to distinguish between the voice of wisdom that clarifies or guides and the inner-critic that agitates or paralyses. You can differentiate by how you feel: wisdom tastes of freedom; inner-criticism tastes of poison.
You wouldn’t be wrong in concluding that it doesn’t matter what resolutions you choose. It’s not the form of the goals themselves. It’s who you are when you’re formulating them and who you cultivate yourself to be that will really count for your fulfilment in 2019. And what a year it could be.
Legend in the making: A lot can change in 12 months - Dr L is an incredibly talented creative entrepreneur. When she reached out to me she was considering sticking to her career as a doctor but torn between that and her dream of combining travel, photography and inspiring others to find their own path. Through coaching she let go of limiting beliefs around visibility, grew her confidence and connected to a powerful mission – she gave herself permission to be wholeheartedly amazing. A year later, she’s flying – literally and figuratively. She’s become a social media influencer, inspires and coaches others all over the world and is hiring people into her growing business. In her own end of year update: “I can't believe my normal baseline a year ago was feeling anxious, stressed and so lost. Things are completely different now. I'm enjoying what I do, am creating my business and have had an amazing time traveling around SE Asia. Thank you, for everything!”
Be who you really are.