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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

The new self-made (9 traits) [Wise Wednesdays]

One of the reasons I hear people say makes them afraid of change is: “I want to keep my lifestyle”.

But research in positive psychology including from its leading proponent Dan Gilbert at Harvard shows that we are not very good at predicting what will make us happy, which is why there are plenty of wealthy, powerful unhappy people. In fact, after about $70k or so in annual income, the return on quality of life tends to flatten out for any additional earnings.

What does help is knowing which principles you want to live by beyond material success. That’s why transformational coaching focuses on helping you articulate your deeper vision and values. I invite my clients to write a Personal Manifesto and refine it regularly to guide their decisions.

Being New Self Made means you are consciously choosing who you want to be and what you want to do in the world rather than letting old societal models of success or external expectations from previous generations dictate them to you.

You are creating your life based on your richest and fullest potential and you care about elevating relationships and a harmonious world where your work contributes to the great symphony of life. You are the New Self-Made.

Here are 9 traits that may resonate with you if you consider yourself in this small but growing group of people:

1. You don’t come from money but it’s not the ultimate concern in your life. You know what’s enough.

2. You make and remake yourself in the image of your highest self.

3. You enjoy culture but not the trappings of status.

4. You don’t seek a carbon-intensive lifestyle of consumption and air travel. Nature, simplicity and the beauty of the global-in-the-local are your aesthetics.

5. The Success Trap has no power over you because you’ve figured out what’s important in your life – you know the regrets of the dying and live by practical wisdom sent from the future.

6. You work hard but you have worked out how to get paid to play.

7. Burnout is a medieval ailment to you and you have an abundance of antibodies against it: 1) focus, 2) insight and 3) warm equanimity combined with a healthy dose of compassionate ruthlessness. You don’t have time for nonsense.

8. You lead because you go first where others are afraid to even look.

9. You’ve created a life that is socially and environmentally conscious while cultivating the relationships, work and experiences that align with your soul.

We walk the path paved by those who came before us. Then we make our own.

It’s not a path for everyone and it’s a great adventure.

Have a good week,


p.s. If you’re redefining success for yourself and would like exquisite support, schedule a 1:1 Exploratory Coaching Conversation. I’m opening one new coaching slot to start in June. Please, make sure you read the information about how it works before you book a time.

p.p.s Join us for an RSA conversation on power at work particularly if you’re a coach or interested in coaching. Sign up here.

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