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  • Amina Aitsi-Selmi

Are you playing hide and seek with yourself? [Wise Wednesdays]

I was on a silent meditation retreat at home this weekend and an old insight occurred to me again in a new way: we play little games with ourselves.


It’s not just AI that operates with an algorithm, high achievers and most humans run on this programme:

“I will relax/be happy/do what I want, once X happens.”

We think that our happiness and joy are a function of goal achievement.

But ancient traditions and modern research alike tell us that the happiness we seek is already within us. The feelings we long for are readily available in the present moment.

Instead, we play this little game where we hide the well of happiness and peace always available to us and go looking for it in places outside us. Relationships, jobs, houses. High achievers tell stories of insurmountable challenges. Rescuers tell themselves the world depends on them.


Because it supports our protective sense of self-importance – our ego. We become consumed by a never-ending cycle of tasks and obligations, feeding our ego with fleeting attainments and little dopamine hits (not a great diet in my opinion.)

But what if you didn’t have to feed on fleeting achievements to be happy? What if you already had everything you needed and could live in a more relaxed and spontaneous state while still being a responsible human?

Question: If you already had access to happiness, (now, not when you’ve hit that KPI or sorted out your boss' personal life), how would it change who you are and your relationship with your career, family and schedule today?

It’s such a wonder to walk with people on this path and witness them relax, feel energised and unlock their authentic flow. From there, life, work and relationships transform in beautiful ways.

Have a happy week,


p.s. Do you feel drawn to guiding people on this journey of transformation? There’s still time to register for tomorrow’s Coaching Without Coaching special session. Details and registration here>>

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